…. they just weren’t listening to the wisdom of the average resident here in the Pass, as exemplified by the following….
My Complaint about Council
I undeniably hope council gives this letter five minutes of its precious cappuccino-sipping, cancer-stick-puffing time. Just so you know, I plan to spend a good deal of this letter discussing council and its peevish viewpoints. I also plan to say a bit about how we must stand united against the forces of intolerance, against the forces of violence, and against the forces of blackguardism, but I’ll save that part for the end. Must it be explained to council that nobody likes bad-tempered, malevolent harijans? Because it obviously doesn’t realize that the space remaining in this letter will not suffice even to enumerate the ways in which it has tried to insist that our society be infested with simplism, pauperism, resistentialism, and an impressive swarm of other “isms”. The fault, dear council, is not in your stars but in yourself. Council avers that serfism resonates with the body’s natural alpha waves. As you can no doubt determine from comments like that, facts and council are like oil and water.
Council used to maintain that the kids on the playground are happy to surrender to the school bully. When it realized that no one was falling for that claptrap, it quickly changed its tune to say that advertising is the most veridical form of human communication. Council is unquestionably a superficial liar, and shame on anyone who believes it. When council is gone, all that will be left from its legacy of hate is the hate itself. That proves that many people who follow council’s blandishments have come to the erroneous conclusion that embracing a system of misoneism will make everything right with the world. The stark truth of the matter is that I can’t possibly believe its claim that everything it says is totally and utterly true. If someone can convince me otherwise, I’ll eat my hat. Heck, I’ll eat a whole closetful of hats. That’s a pretty safe bet because I undoubtedly want to provide an antidote to contemporary manifestations of incoherent Bourbonism, but I can’t do that alone. So do me a favor and work beyond the predatory plasticity of its metanarratives. That’ll show council that its words are as predictable as sunrise. Whenever I lift our nation from the quicksand of injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood, council’s invariant response is to perpetuate what we all know is a corrupt system.
Council looks down upon the rest of us. From its perspective, we are blind so it must tell us what to see; we are deaf so it must tell us what to hear; and we are mute so it must tell us what to say. Such views may fool argumentative converts to neocolonialism, but I allege that we need to put an end to malicious Zendicism. Why? Because of what’s at stake: literally everything. Council wants us to believe that some day it will be considered cool to destroy our culture, our institutions, and our way of life. Yes, things will be that way if we choose to believe that. I choose not to believe that. I choose to believe that the ultimate aim of council’s platitudes is to restructure society as a pyramid with council at the top, council’s lapdogs directly underneath, uncontrollable blowhards beneath them, and the rest of at the bottom. This new societal structure will enable council to needle and wheedle froward beatniks (also known as council’s adulators) into council’s band, which makes me realize that all the deals council makes are strictly one-way. Council gets all the rights, and the other party gets all the obligations. There is one final irony to my story. Inequality does not beget equality.
Note: The above, I’m sure, could have come from our own John the Barber ;-) but in fact actually came from Scott Pakin’s automatic complaint-letter generator. I simply inserted the word ‘council’ in the ‘complain about a company/organization’ field.
Too funny! :-) And so fitting for our particular mayor and council who from the looks of things will soon be packing their briefcases and sailing off into the sunset (or was that cruising down to Arizona?) for the very reasons stated so well in the above.
Vote experience, vote Prince!
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.